Quarter of the year until I enter my 40thyear.

How do I feel?

Is the landmark worrying me? Is it fuck.

On average a male lives in the UK until he’s 87 years old. This mean’s I still have more than half of my life left.

i’m no doubt a depressed man behind the mask of happiness. Only those with a similar condition would identify. I find I’m at my worse, when I’m over excited and self loafing – this is 50% of the time.

Having breakfast with me brother yesterday, I identified that I’m constantly basking to be alone. I know the reasons behind this and it all stems from child hood. Despite being on the end on some horrific bullying and subjected to humiliation from school teachers, I loved being on my own with a football. It’s as clear as yesterday when, Hemsworth ’88 I commentated through my footballing solo dribbles, flicks and volleys. Influenced heavily by john motson and barry davies.

Move on to 13 years, me and me brother were on the eland road pitch, I looked up at me dad and told him I wanted to be a football commentator. He told me I needed to study journalism – I don’t think he knew I had missed a year at school and the chances of this was now unlikely.

So had / have I failed in life at the age of 39 years and three quarters?

No, if anything, I’ve underestimated my achievements. 

The fact is, I couldn’t of done any of these without the following 5 factors

  1. Family for support
  2. Music to influence
  3. Sport to inspire
  4. My guitar to create
  5. Alfie to care for 

The next part of my life will no doubt see further challenges as well as life changing experiences. Falling in love with me soul mate, adding to the next generation, developing myself into a better person.

“The past is already gone, the future is not yet here. There’s only one moment for you to live, and that is the present moment”


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