i’ve always had a love hate relationship with alcohol. Like many of us, it’s caused many a memorable night and many a not so. Over the last few years I’ve gone through spells of abandoning the idea of having an alcoholic drink for months. Only on the odd occasion has it been tempting. I’ve never had a dependency to booze. Though, like many of us, I do enjoy a drink during social occasions, when the sun is shinning and everything seems good in life. Most common occurrences are triggered when I go into hyper mode.

Studying behaviour patterns over the last decade I’ve noticed it’s not the volume but the frequency once I start. This usually leads to the following behaviours

  • Impulsivity – this usually comes in the way of spending money. From buying cars on credit cards to flights in which I couldn’t go on due to my illness. Drinking alcohol certainly effects the clarity of my decision making.
  • Hyperactivity – I tend to become more hyperactive. From getting out of bed at 3am. To arranging lots of social events and generally starting off new projects.
  • Caffeine fix – I’ll be more susceptible to drinking caffeine as a result to getting up earlier. I’ve always enjoyed a coffee but having 3 before leaving your home at 9am usually leads to a crash mid afternoon.
  • Poor nutrition – My nutrition always takes a hit when I’m drinking. I’m usually more prone to eat fatty foods such as crisps, chips, chocolate

I have kerbed the frequency of my drinking over the time I was diagnosed with bipolar. It generally comes back to haunt me when I feel elated / high with an attitude of “well two won’t hurt!”. I know from previous experiences this usually then lasts over a period of time.

I’m reasonably confident I could give up alcohol for good. This has recently made easier with the increase in non alcoholic beverages. My biggest task now is to identify the triggers and prepare for self discipline to step in the way.

Approaching my 40th, I’d like to think my relationship with alcohol is coming to an end. Allowing my mind to becoming clearer to focus on improving my relationships, nutrition, exercise, sleep whilst abandoning those occasions that lead to extra stress. So here’s to a booze free future!

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